A Decade

It was the year we all somehow managed to get past the roadblock called HSC boards..
It was the year we stepped out of our comfort zones to come live in a little one horse town of devrukh..

I think some one up there was definitely in a mood for mischief that he landed all the misfits in the RMCET campus..
The somewhat cloudy some what sunny day on September 11 welcomed us to what were going to be the best 4 years of our lives.

The sometime cheerful sometime gloomy college campus taught us how to laugh when all you wanted was to find a dark place and cry. How to take decision on what was at that time life changing situations (we still sometime laugh till our stomach hurts on the kind of situations we though were life changing... Ahhh the over dramatic versions of us)

The 4 years in RMCET changed me into a better person. It gave me something I will treasure all my life. It gave me friends who became my family.
This year we the batch of 2005 celebrate a decade of our friendship. 10 years of fights and making up, 10 years of long chats and listening ear. 10 years of love.

So this is me saying thank you to all those people who became a part of my life on that cloudy day of 11-Sep-2001 and will always be there.

It has been raining since evening. Days like these remind me of a time when it was easy to slip out of the room and stand in the rain. Feel the drops trailing down my face.

It was all so new back then. Each feeling was a delight, something to be taken as gift. Each moment to be cherished.

As we have aged somewhere we have become jaded. Now each feeling is weighed. Each thought measured. When did we lose the innocence? When did we start thinking more from our brains?

As each day goes by I am drawn to the past where I was more carefree. The pressures of day to day has turned us into mechanized version of the person we had imagined ourselves to be. Why mechanized, because we have lost the need to let go. Lost the passion somewhere in the race.

Gum and glue

Reasons to brood are many...
Provoking thoughts a few..
Heart talks bout surrender
and brain says to move...

Road to healing has begun a new
with fact coming to light....
the reason to stay is over
its time to board the flight

First taste of freedom - Prologue

27 Sep 2001: It was the day I was supposed to leave for engg college. I had just turned 18 and going away from home was giving me both thrills and chills.
I had never been away from home for longer than few days. I was a moody, go to hell attitude kid who was sure of herself. In hindsight may be to sure.
Though I never told mom I was scared out of my with that day. What the hell was I going to do in a place i knew nobody? I hated making adjustment. I was short tempered. No one at hostel would tolerate me, I knew that.

We were taking the semi luxury to devrukh. I hadnt even heard of the place before. It was a small village off the national highway in Konkan. I had never even been to Konkan before.

I didnt sleep a wink through the whole journey. Mom was not well. She had an eye infection which made her see dark spots in front of her eyes. Dad was in nepal. Mom came to drop me off to college leaving anoo alone with Aaji.
I remember the first time I saw my college. It was 6:30 am. And the college ground was wet with dew. it was a beautiful sight. And I hated it. There was a small shabily created entrance as the college construction was still underway. The entrance led to a long dusty road which curved towards the college building. Another road darted along the way toward some buildings and a large ground.

The watchman at the gate directed us towards the girls hostel. I looked at the white building which symbolized my home for next four years. I hadn't had a very good look at the college as it was boarded up with boards to support some kind of dome like structure. Truly speaking I was dissapointed. I had expected something resembling a building and all I got was an under construction lot with dilapidated buildings.

We took our rickshaw towards the girls hostel. As we entered I could here sounds of people stirring and going about their chores. Sounds of a tape recorder, water running, some one shouting to someone. I was a bit intimated by the cacophony of sounds. I was not used to noise.

A girl we had been given reference of helped us into her room. We freshened up and got ready to go to the college. Lots of things were waiting for us. We were directed towards the office where we filled out the admission form and completed other formalities. I was assigned a room which already had a senior girl staying there. We were told to go and wait in a room for the SBI people. We had to open a bank account for payment of fees. That was when I realized that all this was true and I was going to stay back alone tonight with no one I knew near me.
The feeling was terrifying. Sitting besides my mom i felt my eyes well up.

And miles to go before i sleep

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there's some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.
-Robert Frost

From the top of my head

Dil chahata hai.....

World should not change so often....
its difficult to hold on to the remaining threads..
While you look away you tend to miss something important.
I crave stability sometimes, but still am in love with the dynamics of my life.
balancing the past and the present can be pretty tiring but still i feel that moving ahead without these threads holding you can be very difficult.

Kabhi na beete chamkeele din........

Frustration, helplessness, anger, irritation can be easily controlled if the feelings could just be shared. Its impossible to emagine a scenario when i couldn't talk to my friends and share my thoughts. Its cheezy to say but friends really do anchor you to the truths of life.
Hum na rahen kabhi yaron ke bin.......

Sitting at my system i can't think of a topic to write about. There was a time when i just picked up a pen and wrote out lines as if they were just buffered in the pen. Words flew on the paper.
The present context simply adheres me to conversational thinking. brain has forgotten what it is to go on a rampage of wild thoughts. till a couple of ears back i wrote and wrote till the pen went dry or my eyes pleaded for sleep, but now even to get a single thought running in my brain i have to channel my mind. The whole point of free thinking or random thoughts has gone astray.